Socrates is one of the most famous philosophers in history, known for his wisdom and his commitment to the pursuit of truth.
But while much is known about his teachings and his death, there are still many mysteries surrounding his personal life.
One question that has puzzled scholars for centuries is when Socrates got married.
Despite being a prominent figure in ancient Athens, details about his marriages and family life are scarce.
In this article, we will explore what little is known about Socrates’ marriages and try to shed some light on this enigmatic philosopher’s personal life.
When Did Socrates Get Married
Socrates was born in Athens in 470 or 469 BC to relatively affluent parents. He received a typical Athenian education, which included reading, writing, gymnastics, poetry, and music.
It is believed that Socrates was married twice, but it is unclear which marriage came first. His first marriage was to a woman whose name is unknown, and his second marriage was to a daughter of an Athenian statesman.
Socrates had three sons with his first wife, and it is believed that he married his second wife when he was in his fifties.
Despite being married twice, Socrates did not seem to place much importance on material pleasures or personal comfort. He was known for his indifference to his own appearance and hygiene, owning only one ragged coat and walking barefoot.
Socrates’ Early Life And Education
Socrates was born into a family of relative wealth and privilege in the Athenian deme of Alopece. His father, Sophroniscus, was a stoneworker, and his mother, Phaenarete, was a midwife. As was customary for Athenian boys of his social status, Socrates received a formal education that included reading, writing, and basic arithmetic.
In addition to these subjects, Socrates also received extra lessons in various fields such as gymnastics, poetry, and music. He was known to be a talented sculptor like his father and created a statue of the Graces that was admired even centuries after his death.
Socrates’ education followed the laws and customs of Athens. He learned the basic skills of reading and writing and received extra lessons in various other fields such as gymnastics, poetry, and music. Despite being born into a relatively affluent family, Socrates seemed to have led a simple life and was not interested in material possessions or personal comfort.
The Lack Of Information On Socrates’ Marriages
Despite Socrates being a prominent figure in ancient Greek philosophy, there is surprisingly little information about his marriages. The name of his first wife is unknown, and there are no records of their relationship beyond the fact that they had three sons together.
Socrates’ second marriage was to a daughter of an Athenian statesman, but her name is also unknown. It is believed that this marriage occurred when Socrates was in his fifties, but there are no details about the circumstances or the nature of their relationship.
Despite the lack of information on Socrates’ marriages, it is clear that he did not place much importance on material possessions or personal comfort. His focus was on educating others and improving their souls, rather than on his own personal relationships or physical appearance.
The One Known Marriage: Xanthippe
While Socrates’ first wife remains unknown, his second wife was named Xanthippe. She is mentioned in several ancient texts, including Plato’s Phaedo and Xenophon’s Memorabilia and Symposium. Plato portrays Xanthippe as a devoted wife and mother, while Xenophon’s Symposium suggests that she was a difficult woman to get along with.
Despite this portrayal, Socrates chose Xanthippe precisely because of her argumentative spirit. He believed that if he could manage such a spirited woman, he could easily deal with every other human being. However, other texts, such as Aelian’s description of Xanthippe as a jealous shrew, paint a less flattering picture of her.
There is also an unconfirmed anecdote that Xanthippe once poured a chamber pot over Socrates’ head in a fit of rage. While the veracity of this story is uncertain, it has become a famous anecdote associated with the couple.
Today, the term “Xanthippe” is often used to describe any nagging or scolding person, especially a shrewish wife. Despite this negative connotation, it is clear that Xanthippe played an important role in Socrates’ life and philosophy.
Theories On Why Socrates Never Mentioned His Marriages
There are several theories as to why Socrates never mentioned his marriages. One theory is that he simply did not view marriage as a significant aspect of his life. Socrates was primarily focused on his philosophical pursuits and the pursuit of knowledge, and he may have felt that discussing his marriages was irrelevant to these pursuits.
Another theory is that Socrates’ marriages were not particularly happy or fulfilling for him, and he did not want to draw attention to them. As mentioned earlier, Socrates’ second wife, the daughter of an Athenian statesman, was chosen for him by her father rather than by Socrates himself. This arranged marriage may not have been a love match, and Socrates may have felt uncomfortable discussing it.
It is also possible that Socrates simply did not want to discuss his personal life in public. He valued privacy and believed that personal matters should be kept separate from public discourse. Additionally, discussing personal matters could be seen as a distraction from his philosophical teachings.
Regardless of the reason, it is clear that Socrates’ marriages were not a significant part of his legacy. Instead, he is remembered for his contributions to philosophy and his commitment to seeking truth and knowledge.
Socrates’ Views On Love And Relationships
Socrates’ views on love and relationships were complex and often debated. In Plato’s Symposium, Socrates is portrayed as saying that he learned “the truth about love” from a woman named Diotima. However, many scholars believe that Diotima was a fictional character created by Plato.
Socrates believed that true love was unconditional and all-encompassing. He did not believe in settling for someone who might not be the best available option, but rather expanding one’s love to be ever more universal, all-pervading, and equanimous.
Socrates also believed that love was not just a physical or emotional experience, but a spiritual one as well. He believed that through spiritual practice, one could expand their capacity for love and become more like the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
Despite his views on love, Socrates did not seem to have a particularly happy marriage. It is unclear whether this was due to his own choices or circumstances beyond his control. Nevertheless, his ideas about love and relationships continue to be debated and studied to this day.
The Legacy Of Socrates’ Personal Life
Socrates’ personal life left a lasting legacy that continues to captivate people today. Despite living over two thousand years ago, Socrates’ unconventional lifestyle and values continue to inspire individuals to question societal norms and seek a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.
Socrates’ disregard for material possessions and his focus on the development of the soul over physical pleasures are particularly noteworthy. He was known for his moderation in eating, drinking, and sex, and he did not seek sexual relationships with his disciples, as was common in ancient Greece. Instead, Socrates was more interested in educating their souls.
Socrates’ resistance to societal expectations regarding physical appearance and comfort also left a lasting impact. He was known for his unattractive physical appearance, which included a flat turned-up nose, bulging eyes, and a large belly. Despite this, he did not let his appearance define him or detract from his mission of seeking truth and knowledge.
Finally, Socrates’ commitment to justice and the law is another aspect of his personal life that has left a significant legacy. He refused to participate in what he considered to be crimes, even when it meant risking his own safety. His arrest of Leon the Salaminian is a prime example of this commitment to justice.
Overall, Socrates’ personal life serves as a model for individuals seeking to live a meaningful and purposeful life. His focus on the development of the soul over material possessions or physical pleasures continues to inspire people today.
